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Even when you’re tired at the end of your day, or busy with something else, it is to make efforts to respond when your partner makes an attempt to connect with you.
Bids consist of verbal and non-verbal gestures or statements that attempt to connect two people. An example is when you’re surfing the internet, and you either don’t hear your partner, or you completely ignore a statement of “I had the best day at work!
Bids are simply a way that we meet our needs for connection and attention with each other.You likely use and respond to bids every day, but had no idea there was a word for it, or a science behind it.Understanding how to recognize and respond to bids is a simple, yet powerful way to help you build a healthy, mindful, loving relationship. John and Julie Gottman, psychologists and researchers (and a happily married couple) who have been studying and treating thousands of couples over the years.What the Gottmans have learned from their research is couples who know how to recognize and respond to bids in positive ways are able to maintain their relationships over time. Non-verbal bids involve facial expressions, vocalizations like “uh-huh”, an affectionate touch, or gestures like pointing or waving. ” These types of positive responses fill the emotional bank account between two people over time.So the question is, how can you be more mindful of your partner’s bids and begin building a healthy relationship from the start?